All relationships have their ups and downs but, when a spouse suddenly says they want a divorce, your whole world starts crashing down around you. Is there any way to make a final attempt to stop a divorce from happening? Here are a few steps to on that may help turn your relationship around before it’s too late.
- Finding out the problem.
Figuring out the problem is key! Do not play the blame game! This is going to make things go incredibility wrong. This is a defense mechanism people use in a relationship to protect themselves. There is something that is making your significant other unhappy. You may have to really dig deep to pull out what is actually bothering both of you. You should ask yourself some questions… is it me or is it you? What behaviors contribute to finger pointing and blame? Are there any positives about this situation? Is there anything I can learn about myself and how I behave from this situation? How can I prevent it next time? Before you point the finger at someone make sure you ask yourself these questions and see if this can help you prevent the problem from repeating.
- Communication is crucial.
Many times we keep our feelings bottled up inside hiding them from the outside world. You must communicate with your spouse. Good communication is the key to success for a happy relationship. It takes two people to have a relationship and each person has their own way of communicating. When you talk to your partner try the following:
- Accept responsibility for your actions and feelings.
- Talk about your needs, your wants and your feelings.
- Listen to your spouse, put aside your feelings for the time being.
- Be aware of your tone of voice.
If you still need more assistance to communicate better, try reading books on relationships, take an online course together, or seek out a therapist or a marriage coach. See “From love trauma to fearless love,” by Jianny Adamo
- Evaluate if it’s working.
Problems like these are not fixed overnight, a solution is only a solution if the problems are getting better. Assess whether a solution is working by measuring your disposition. Are you and your partner feeling closer? Talk to each other and see what’s working and what isn’t. If you find a happy medium that you and your partner. Don’t give up! Believe is working, stick with it if not, try and find another solution that will produce the results that you want.
- Shifting the way you speak.
When you engage in a struggle your response is vital. Previously, we spoke about communication, there are things you should not say when you start a heated conversation out of respect for your partner, “I can’t”, “I won’t” “you always” & “you never.” Try and start the conversation in a positive way remembering not to blame each other. Use questions to find solutions, for example, “What can we work on together to solve our issues?” Just remember to treat your partner with respect and kindness ALWAYS!
If you have completed these few steps then you should start seeing some positive results. The solutions that you and your spouse came up should get you back on track. If you are still feeling stuck, go back and give the steps another go. This may take a few times before you get back that happy marriage you are yearning for.
Optimistically, these steps should help you and your partner make the changes that need to be made. If for some reason you cannot find a solution to your problems, Klein Law Group is here to help you! We are the premier divorce Law firm in Palm Beach County. Do not hesitate to call us, we are here to provide you the freedom to start fresh!