All relationships have their ups and downs but, when a spouse suddenly says they want a divorce, your whole world starts crashing down. Is there any way to make a final attempt to save your marriage? Here are a few steps that may help turn your relationship around before you end up in an office with a divorce attorney.
Finding out the problem.
Figuring out the problem is key. Do not play the blame game!. This is a defense mechanism people use in a relationship to protect themselves. There is something that is making your partner unhappy. You may have to really dig deep to pull out what is actually bothering both of you. You should ask yourself some hard questions… is it me or is it you? What behaviors contribute to finger pointing and blame? Are there any positives about this situation? Is there anything I can learn about myself and how I behave from this situation? How can I prevent it from happening the next time? Before you point the finger at someone, make sure you ask yourself these questions and see if this can help you prevent the problem from repeating.
Communication is crucial.
Many times we keep our feelings bottled up hiding them from the outside world. You must communicate with your spouse. Good communication is the key to success for a happy relationship. It takes two people to have a successful relationship and each person has their own way of communicating. When you talk to your partner, try the following:
- Accept responsibility for your actions and feelings.
- Talk about your needs, your wants and your feelings.
- Listen to your spouse, while putting aside your feelings.
- Be aware of the tone of your voice.
If you need more assistance to communicate better, try reading books on relationships, take an online course together or seek out a therapist or a marriage coach.
Evaluate if it’s working.
Problems like these are not fixed overnight, a solution is only a solution if the problems are getting better. Assess whether a solution is working by measuring your disposition. Are you and your partner feeling closer? Talk to each other and see what’s working and what isn’t. If you find a happy medium between you and your partner don’t give up! If you believe it’s working, stick with it, if not, find another solution that will produce the results that you want.
Shifting the way you speak.
When you engage in a struggle, your response is vital. Previously, we spoke about communication. There are things you should not say when you start a heated conversation out of respect for your partner, “I can’t”, “I won’t” “you always” & “you never.” Try and start the conversation in a positive way remembering not to blame each other. Use questions to find solutions, for example, “What can we work on together to solve our issues?” Just remember to treat your partner with respect and kindness – ALWAYS!
If you have completed these few steps then you should start seeing some positive results. The solutions that you and your spouse came up with should get you back on track. If you are still feeling stuck, go back and give the steps another go. This may take a few tries before you get back that happy marriage you desire.
We hope these steps help you and your spouse make the changes that lead to a positive outcome. In the case that you and your spouse cannot find a solution to your problems, Klein Law Group is here to help. We are the premier divorce law firm in Palm Beach County. Do not hesitate to call us, we are here to provide you with the Freedom to Start Fresh!