South Florida Attorney Eric N. Klein

How to Survive Your Divorce - Choosing a Mediator

A popular option for couples seeking to avoid excessive conflict during their divorce is mediation. While the specific techniques and style of mediation may differ, the general idea and goal of mediation is to help couples resolve conflict in a productive and less combative manner.

As you might expect, the quality of mediation you experience is heavily dependent on who you choose to be the mediator. Mediators come from a variety of backgrounds, professions, and philosophies. They can be lawyers, accountants, psychiatrists, pastors, or therapists, religious or atheist, men or women. They will approach the task of mediating your divorce in a variety of ways - some may focus on your financial issues, others on your emotional state, some may try for an efficient solution, and still others may actually be trying to rescue your marriage.

There is no miracle formula in choosing a suitable mediator, and which style of mediation is best varies from couple to couple. When looking into mediation as an option, consider some of the following:

• References: Ask for them. A good mediator will most likely have plenty of positive referrals from lawyers, clients, and their own peers. Always take referrals with a grain of salt, however, since even poor mediators will usually have one or two success cases they can pull out.
• Mediation Style: A mediator's style is often influenced by their vocation. Ask about their professional and educational background, and what their philosophy is towards mediation. Are they primarily concerned with helping you reach a divorce agreement quickly and painlessly, or are they more interested in convincing you to give marriage a second try?
• Certification: Although there is no official "qualification" to mediate a dispute, an organization called the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) is a good place to start looking. ACR members are required to complete 60 hours of family mediation training, along with continuing training courses every other year, and have completed at least 100 hours of actual mediation. Keep in mind, of course, that even "uncertified" mediators may be very competent and worthwhile options.

One more factor to keep in mind when attempting to find a mediator - compatibility. For mediation to work, both you and your spouse must feel comfortable working with and talking to the mediator. If for any reason this level of comfort is not achieved, do not hesitate to find another mediator.

Along with mediation, any couple going through divorce will benefit from the legal advice of an experienced attorney. If you have questions regarding the divorce process, call a Boca Raton divorce lawyer at 561-353-2800 for more information.